Emma Heming Willis has opened up about the profound impact of her husband, Bruce Willis’ dementia, on their holiday traditions and memories. In a heartfelt essay, she reflects on the bittersweet nature of this time of year, emphasizing the comfort found in routine as well as the pain that accompanies change.
Heming Willis, 47, describes holidays as a time when Bruce was always at the center of family activities. She recalls, “He loved this time of year — the energy, the family time, the traditions.” In her narrative, she paints a vivid picture of Bruce as the “pancake maker” and the one who embraced the joy of playing in the snow with their children. The memories, she notes, provide a sense of solace even as they face the realities of dementia.
The couple has shared many public moments, including appearances at film premieres in London and New York City. A notable event was the UK premiere of *A Good Day To Die Hard* on February 7, 2013, where the couple was seen together, exuding warmth and connection. Similarly, their appearance at the *Glass* premiere on January 15, 2019, showcased their enduring partnership.
In her essay, Heming Willis acknowledges that dementia does not erase their shared memories. “But it does create space between then and now. And that space can ache,” she writes. The emotional complexities of navigating holidays, a time traditionally filled with joy, can be overwhelming. She shares that grief can surface unexpectedly while engaging in holiday preparations, from unboxing decorations to wrapping gifts.
She candidly expresses her frustration when tackling tasks Bruce once managed, stating, “I find myself, harmlessly, cursing Bruce’s name while wrestling with the holiday lights.” This expression of annoyance, she clarifies, does not stem from anger but rather from a sense of longing for the way the holidays used to be.
Heming Willis also reflects on the pressures faced by caregivers during festive seasons. “There’s an expectation to make everything feel ‘normal,’ even if I’m quietly mourning the life we once shared,” she notes. The contrast between curated images of holiday perfection and her reality often creates feelings of inadequacy and loss.
As she navigates this new chapter, she emphasizes the importance of adaptability. “For a long time, I wanted the holidays to remain exactly as they were, as if this might protect us from what was happening. But I’m learning that flexibility isn’t giving up. It’s adapting,” she explains. This perspective highlights the need for compassion towards oneself and the acceptance of a new normal.
While acknowledging that the holidays have changed, Heming Willis insists that “different doesn’t mean empty.” She affirms that connection, love, and joy can still be present, even amidst the challenges posed by dementia. “If this season feels heavy for you, please know that you’re not alone,” she reassures readers, encouraging them to find their own way through the complexities of the holiday season.
Through her poignant reflections, Emma Heming Willis offers a glimpse into the profound emotional landscape shaped by love, loss, and resilience. Her words resonate with anyone navigating the delicate balance of caregiving and the pursuit of joy during difficult times.
