A reader has voiced concerns about a close friend’s lack of gratitude, highlighting a broader issue of etiquette that resonates with many. The letter, published in the advice column Dear Annie, reveals the frustrations of one individual who feels unappreciated in her friendship.
Friendship Tested by Ingratitude
The letter writer describes her friend, who has become like family, as someone who rarely expresses gratitude. This includes failing to say “thank you” for gifts and even for purchases made at her small business. The writer recalls instances where she had to inquire if her gifts were received, noting particularly the absence of thank-you notes after the friend’s wedding.
In a recent example, the letter writer sent a gift card to her friend’s young daughter for Christmas 2023. After a couple of weeks without acknowledgment, she reached out to confirm they had received it, only to find out that while her friend mentioned what they bought with the card, she still did not express gratitude. This experience has led the writer to reconsider whether she should continue sending gifts.
Understanding the Roots of Behavior
In her response, Annie Lane encourages the letter writer to reflect on her friend’s upbringing. She suggests that the absence of thankfulness may stem from a childhood where such expressions were not emphasized. The writer notes that her own mother instilled the importance of saying “thank you,” which contrasts sharply with her friend’s experience.
“When we know better, we do better,”
Lane writes, emphasizing the potential for positive change if the letter writer chooses to address the issue directly with her friend. She advocates for open communication, suggesting that the letter writer explain how important gratitude is to her and offer support in cultivating this habit.
Lane concludes by reminding readers of the significance of gratitude, encouraging them to teach children the value of acknowledging kindness. Her advice serves not only as a guide for the letter writer but also as a broader reminder about the importance of appreciation in relationships.
This exchange highlights a common challenge in friendships: differing expectations and communication styles. By addressing the issue thoughtfully, the letter writer has the opportunity to strengthen her relationship while fostering a culture of appreciation.
For more insights, readers can follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial or visit her website for further advice.
