In a recent discussion on family traditions and communication, two individuals shared their challenges surrounding holiday gatherings and social media etiquette. These personal accounts shed light on the complexities of familial relationships, particularly during significant events like Thanksgiving and weddings.
Balancing Tradition and New Practices
One reader expressed feelings of exclusion regarding her daughter-in-law’s decision to host a Friendsgiving dinner. This gathering takes place a few weekends before Thanksgiving and includes both family and friends. The reader noted that while she understands the rationale behind the event, it evokes feelings of resentment. She has long anticipated hosting Thanksgiving herself, especially after losing her parents and her husband’s mother.
The reader acknowledged that they still celebrate Thanksgiving, but the significance feels diminished since it is now preceded by another traditional meal. Her daughter-in-law often invites her family to join Friendsgiving, yet the reader struggles with the idea of sharing a holiday that once felt exclusive.
In response, Eric Thomas, the advice columnist, suggested reframing the situation. He pointed out that both gatherings serve different but equally important purposes. While the daughter-in-law seeks to create a sense of community that she may have lacked growing up, the reader cherishes the traditional aspects of Thanksgiving passed down through generations. Ultimately, both individuals desire to celebrate with loved ones, and embracing this shared goal could transform the reader’s perspective on the overlapping meals.
Clarifying Social Media Boundaries
Another reader raised concerns about sharing news of her son’s recent marriage. After a civil ceremony, the son and his girlfriend, together for 24 years, requested that their families refrain from posting anything on social media. The mother, however, interpreted their request differently and shared a single photo online. Following this, her son asked her to remove the post, leading to feelings of confusion and frustration.
Thomas addressed the situation by acknowledging the nuances of communication around social media. He noted that the son’s comment about not being “into social media” could easily be misinterpreted. While the mother had good intentions in wanting to share the joyful news with friends, the nature of online sharing carries different implications than verbal announcements or private messages.
He emphasized that it was reasonable for the mother to have posted the photo, but she should also respect her son’s wishes regarding the privacy of their wedding day. Deleting the post was a positive step, and he encouraged her to view the situation as a learning experience rather than a conflict.
Both scenarios highlight the delicate balance of family traditions and communication in modern relationships. As families navigate these changes, understanding and respect for each other’s perspectives can lead to more fulfilling connections.
