UPDATE: A new dilemma for hostesses everywhere is making waves, as a family member’s kitchen takeover is stirring up urgent discussions about etiquette at potluck gatherings. Reports indicate that one hostess is feeling overwhelmed by a relative who insists on preparing simple dishes on-site, rather than bringing completed items.
In a letter addressed to Miss Manners, the frustrated hostess describes how her relative commandeers her kitchen, taking up counter space and time with elaborate preparations. “If I asked her to bring salt, she would need 3 feet of counter space and 30 minutes to assemble an heirloom salt grinder first,” she expressed, highlighting the absurdity of the situation.
This issue resonates with many, especially as the holiday season approaches and gatherings become more frequent. The stress of hosting has reached new heights, with the need for streamlined contributions becoming more critical than ever.
Miss Manners offers a solution: Instead of asking the relative to contribute to food prep, why not suggest she handle drinks instead? “Preferably ones in closed containers that do not require mixing, shaking, or decanting,” she advises. This practical tip aims to alleviate the burden on the hostess while still engaging the family member in the festive spirit.
In another pressing inquiry, a reader expressed discomfort over a friend’s abrupt departures during meals. “Every time we eat out with another friend, she jumps up without warning and says she has to go,” the reader lamented. To address this rudeness, Miss Manners suggests responding with concern: “Jump up just as suddenly and say, ‘Wait, what?! You’re going?! Is everything OK?’” This approach aims to create awareness of the abruptness while providing a moment of connection.
Additionally, Miss Manners tackles a growing trend among work-sponsored events that have guests bringing their own utensils and containers to minimize environmental impact. One reader questioned the practicality of this request, stating, “This feels quite awkward to me — and messy!”
Miss Manners responded critically, suggesting that such requests blur the line between being a “sponsored” event and placing undue responsibility on guests. “It is neither courteous nor environmentally friendly,” she asserts, challenging the rationale behind these demands that could potentially lead to more mess than convenience.
As societal norms around gatherings and etiquette evolve, these discussions are more relevant than ever. Hostesses are urged to find balance, ensuring their gatherings remain enjoyable without compromising their own comfort and space.
With the holiday season fast approaching, readers are encouraged to consider how these etiquette tips might apply to their own festive plans. Will we see more guests opting to bring their own utensils, or will hostesses reclaim their kitchens?
Stay tuned for the latest insights from Miss Manners and share your own thoughts on these pressing matters as they unfold!
